“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” – Malcolm X
Elevating ones self worth is the first step in increasing the amount of success that surrounds you. The things you want in life must first be created from within yourself before they can be experienced in the physical world. This article is part two in the series about self worth. If you haven’t read the first part, discussing low self worth, than I recommend going through that one first.
This post focuses on ways to raise self worth, thereby allowing you to invite more success, love, and prosperity into your life. By focusing on the steps below, you will help to remove the subconscious resistance that is holding you back from your goals and creating the life you want to live.
Ways to Help Raise Self Worth
1. Quit Judging Yourself So Harshly
This approach has you look at the ways you internally judge yourself and how this affects your own self worth. The truth is that this duality of right and wrong that we’ve learned growing up is a staple on how worthy and deserving we feel as a person.
Some people joke around and say that, “a bad act is only wrong if you are caught”. However, this viewpoint is flawed due to one main point. Even if your parents, teachers, or police officers did NOT catch you in the act, there was one person that always did… YOU!
In the back of your mind you are constantly taking notes on the good things and the bad things you’ve done. This brings you to an internal decision on how good of a person you feel you are. However, these acts you consider “good” or “bad” are relative terms that have been conditioned into your moral mindset.
“Judging yourself too harshly, may cause problems which influence you to sabotage your own efforts towards success. This is because you subconsciously feel that you do NOT deserve it.”
This self-sabotage may take on many forms, like dropping out of college, getting fired from your job, racking up credit card debit, getting into an abusive relationship or getting addicted to drugs. These subtle behaviours that change the course of our lives might NOT even be recognized, but are evoked from our viewpoint of our own self-worth.
2. Realize You’ve Done the Best You Could
Let’s have a look at a powerful realization; whatever you or other’s have done, you did the best you could, given your level of consciousness at the time. At first glance, you may look at that statement and say it’s flawed or may NOT agree with it. However, I ask you to look deeper into why people do the things they do. There is a popular saying as people become older and wiser, “If I could go back knowing the things I know now, I would have done things differently”.
Most people react and do things based on their own past experience. So if their experience is lacking: if they have emotional scars, mistaken beliefs, fears or anxieties… than this may factor into their behaviours. The past is the past, so it’s useless blaming them or yourself for these errors of judgement.
You might picture in your mind, “the best you could do” and label it as acceptable, wonderful or even completely horrible! Nevertheless, it remains true that you did the best you could considering your present level of understanding at that time. It is also good for you to consider other people’s past behaviours in the same light.
3. Understand That No One is Perfect
You are NOT perfect, you make mistakes and that is okay. There is nothing wrong with making a bad decision in your life, or failing to succeed at something. This is how we grow as individuals.
“Being human is about learning… If you’re completely perfect, there would be nothing to learn and the point of existing would no longer be valid.”
No one wants to be a failure at anything, it can be discouraging. What you need to realize is that failing at things is part of the journey towards the land of success. There is rarely a successful person that has accomplished their wildest dreams without having any failures.
These failures and mistakes are how we learn, grow and evolve as humans. This allows us to make better choices the next time a similar situation comes our way.
4. Apologize and Ask For Forgiveness
Since we are only human and have made mistakes in our lives, sometimes those mistakes hurt someone else in the process. These scenarios are often replayed over and over in our minds. Sometimes you may wonder what you could’ve done differently. The past is the past and again you did the best you could. You can NOT change what you did to hurt another, but you can certainly learn how to avoid doing something similar in the future.
These thoughts of wronging another, disrupt your own natural energy field and have a tendency to diminish your own self worth. Here are a few things you can do to help bring the balance back to your energy field and also raise your self worth.
First, if you feel comfortable with it, you could simply contact this individual that you wronged and ask them for forgiveness. Just say you are sorry, that you learned from your mistakes, you wish them the best and then maybe do something nice for them. Just by hearing those words, that they forgive you, can have a dramatic effect on your self worth and also your health. If they don’t forgive you, then simply decide to forgive yourself.
If you do NOT feel comfortable with actually contacting certain individuals to apologize, you can also visualize you doing it or write a letter saying you’re sorry. You do NOT necessarily have to send that letter. Just by getting this expression out of you, can have a massive impact. You could also try and do something nice for them if these people are still a part of your life.
Rather, you can follow this guided mediation called “The Twin Hearts Meditation”, that I’ve included at the end of the article. This powerful meditation accomplishes similar results for allowing forgiveness from others and it also will bring you into a peaceful mindset.
5. Forgive Others and Release Them
This step is similar to the previous one, however this involves releasing others from the wrong they have inflicted upon you. The best way to be forgiven is to forgive others that have also made mistakes. Since no one is perfect, people are bound to make mistakes that could’ve caused hurt, pain or suffering on your end.
Again, If you feel comfortable, you can talk to the person and say that you completely understand that people make mistakes and you totally forgive them for what they did. This could really help both of you, since it brings them a sense of relief knowing that you forgive them. It can also bring a sense of joy and love felt on your end for being the one to provide understanding and forgiveness.
Once again if that is an uncomfortable approach, you can visualize the act of forgiving them. Tell them that you forgive them, you hope they learned from their mistakes and you completely release them. Writing a letter is another way to accomplish the same thing as visualizing it.
Like before, the “Twin Hearts Meditation” guides you through the visualization of forgiving others. This tool is a great way to go about providing forgiveness to those who have wronged you.
6. Improve Your Body Language
Your body language can have a huge impact on how powerful you feel, how other’s feel about you and what you can achieve in life. When you feel powerful your body reflects it, similarly when you feel weak it mirrors that as well.
Take a look at someone’s body language after they win, they’ll usually adopt a power pose. Studies show that by standing in a dominate pose for two minutes can actually affect how you feel, as well as cause hormonal changes in the body.
Amy Cuddy from Harvard University has done extensive research on the impact of body language and how it affects you physically as well as mentally.
Her results show that people who hold a power pose for two minutes, experience a twenty percent increase in testosterone and a twenty-five percent decrease in cortisol (stress hormone). Conversely, people who stand in a submissive pose experience a ten percent decrease in testosterone and a fifteen percent increase in cortisol.
These changes effect how you feel about yourself, how others feel about you, and the amount of risk you feel comfortable with. It puts you into a state of power that can help you on your way to success.
All you have to do is hold one of these power poses for at least two minutes when you want to raise your power and reduce your stress. Don’t worry, you can do this privately by yourself, so people aren’t looking at you like you’re crazy haha!
7. Do Good Things For Others
Acts of kindness brings forth great improvements to your sense of self worth. Remember people have a tendency to judge themselves for their actions and rank them as “good” or “bad”.
If you want to have a higher sense of worthiness, naturally focus on doing more good things.There are so many options here that there should be NO problem increasing your participation in providing good to the world.
This can be done by, helping a friend, volunteering, donating things such as food, clothes, money, or toys. You could also provide support to someone needing it, make someone laugh or simply share more love to those who you come in contact with.
One thing is certain, there is nothing wrong with providing more joy, harmony, and love to those that are blessed enough to cross your path.
8. Practice Meditation
Mediation brings you into a state of alignment with the energy that is present within all life. By meditating you become more calm, have a greater sense of peace and feel more in touch with the goodness that courses throughout your body. Not only is meditation good for increasing your own self worth, it is also medically proven to improve the quality of your health.
There are so many ways to meditate that it should be easy to find an approach that you are comfortable with. One of the most simple methods is to sit in silence and focus solely on taking controlled deep breaths. Silence your mind and bring yourself into the present moment.
Another approach is using guided meditations that you can listen to which guide you through the process. I have included the “Twin Hearts Meditation” that not only helps with guiding you through meditation, but also helps with guiding you through forgiving yourself and others.
One benefit to the guided meditations is that they give you something to focus your mind upon. For those that are less experienced in the practice of meditation, shutting down the thinking process of the mind, can be quite a challenge.
9. Steer Your Thoughts Towards the Positive
The act of positive thinking can have a dramatic effect NOT only on developing your self worth, but improving the overall quality of your life.
According to the National Science Foundation, a person has between 12,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day. Most people have no control over the thoughts that come into their mind. Majority of these thoughts are repeated multiple times a day, everyday and are conditioned by the past.
Instead of letting these random thoughts pop into your head, focus on deliberately thinking positive thoughts. Bring thoughts into your consciousness that reflect who you want to be.
Thoughts such as how great it felt helping that person, a visualization about a place you would like to visit, or the feelings of being proud about how far you’ve come so far in life and how many great things you’ve learned. You could also take the time to think about where you want to go in life, what you want to accomplish and visualize already being there.
“Your thoughts have the power to create, so make sure you are focusing them on where you want your life to go.
There is NO way to govern all your thoughts throughout the day, but by simply introducing new positive thoughts into your thinking vocabulary, you have the possibly of diluting some of the negative thoughts that might pop into your mind on accident.
10. Realize that Every Person is of Equal Worth
There is an epidemic of materialism that plagues our current society. The media has given us this idea that certain people are worth more than others. They continually provoke thoughts that your appearance, body, accomplishments, wealth, possessions, and social status are the true representations of your worth. In such a materialistic society it is sometimes hard NOT to think that way.
However, I stand to say that those are merely the circumstances of your life and NOT a true reflection of your self worth. In its essence, your self worth has nothing to do with the car you drive or your social status, but everything to do with the type of person you feel you are.
If that is the case, NO other person’s experience is worth more than your own, because experience in general is the main goal for all humans.
You can choose to experience positive or negative situations, love or hate, wealth or poverty. But make NO mistake, just because you own an expensive home or drive a fancy sports car, does NOT mean you are worth more than the man begging for food on the side of the road.
Internally you may have developed your own self worth, that is why you feel you deserve these things, but ultimately the beggar has the same potential as a human being. He or she may just have blocked their view on their own given deservedness, which we are all entitled to while living on this Earth.
11. Know that You are in Control Your Future
The last step is to realize that ultimately you have complete control over your future. You can spend your time blaming others on why you didn’t succeed at something, or you can be more constructive and focus on what you need to do to succeed.
Just like your thoughts help create your reality, so does the complete surrender to the approach that you are the only one that is in charge of your future. Where you want to go is up to you… it all starts with the actions you take at the present moment.
Once you take this approach, it is actually quite liberating because then these external circumstances have less influence on your life than you once thought. Realize your self worth is the main foundation for the amount of success you allow to come into your life. By doing so, opens up more doorways that previously remained closed.
Twin Hearts Meditation
The “Twin Hearts Meditation” is a universal spiritual meditation that is in no way involved in any particular religion. It is a technique that was developed by GrandMaster Choa Kok Sui, the founder of Pranic Healing. Pranic healing is a form of energy medicine that has been shown and tested to increase the vital life-force energy within the body, allowing healing and regeneration of cells. It has started to be adopted in conjunction with standard medical practices in certain states in the US. It has shown to improve the rate of healing in patients with all types of conditions.
The Meditation on Twin Hearts, was developed in order to increase the amount of life force energy within the Pranic Healer, thereby allowing them to transfer the excess energy to their patients. This meditation has been highly praised by those who practice it regularly. This meditation also guides you through the process of asking for forgiveness and forgiving others, which will lead you on your way to a higher sense of self worth.
Listen or download the Twin Hearts Meditation below:
To download the mp3 file, click play and then right-click on “download mp3”, select “save link as” and choose where you want to save it.
Hope you found these tips useful with helping to improve your self worth. Thanks for reading!